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If All the World Were Paper
from Wite Recreations, 1641

If all the world were paper,
And all the sea were ink,
And all the trees were bread and cheese,
What would we do for drink?

 

If all the world were sand-o!
Oh, then what should we lack-o!
If, as they say, there were no clay,
How should be take tobacco?

 

If all our vessels ran-a
If none had but a crack,
If Spanish apes ate all the grapes,
How should we do for sack?

 

If friars had no bald pates
No nuns no dark cloisters,
If all the seas were beans and peas,
What should we do for oysters?

 

If there had been no projects,

Nor none that did great wrongs;
If fiddlers shall turn Players all,
How should we do for songs?

 

If all things were eternal,

And nothing their end bringing,
If this should be, then how should we
Here make an end of singing?

The source is uncertain. I found the words long ago on the web but can find no trace of "Wite Recreations".